Lost in Hopelessness
by Inclinant
Summary: To the me who is no longer alone, to the one my heart lies with, to the one I will save…and to the one that smiles on for us. Hetaoni  tribute. Oneshot Germany x Italy, China x Japan, America x England


**Lost in Hopelessness**

_a hetaoni tribute_

Inspired by the hetaoni soundtrack with the same title.

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><p><strong>Italy – To the me who is no longer alone<strong>

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><p>"<em>Are you okay?"<em>

The words kept swirling in his head, repeating over and over again like a flashing nightmare. But that was what they were in right now, wasn't it? A nightmare that never ended, repeating again and again and again…

"_Are you injured anywhere?"_

He had heard it so many times he could even visualize their smiling faces saying those words while they faded away. One by one, throughout all the time loops, they always, _always_ said the same thing…but always vanished all the same.

"_We'll make it out of here alive! All of us!"_

He wanted to believe in their words so badly. He wanted to believe in them, believe in those words…but he had done so before and those words had always betrayed him till left in his tears, he would grasp the journal and turn back time once more. The sliver of hope was long dwindling in his chest with every death that he helplessly watched, every farce that he put on...

"_Everything will be alright…"_

"Italy-san, are you okay? Are you injured anywhere?"

Italy flinched inwardly at the familiarity of those words, before blinking away his tears and plastering a smile back onto his face. He turned and beamed at the concerned Japanese nation, ignoring the memories of that very nation slumped onto the floor as his lifeblood ebbed out of him...

"Ve~ Of course, Japan! I'm fine!"

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><p><em>To the me who is no longer alone…<em>

_Please give me the strength to carry on…because I know that I do not have the right to give up..._

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><p><strong>China – To the one my heart lies with<strong>

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><p><em>"Japan! I…."<em>

_ "I will not forgive you if you die!"_

_"Y-yes, I will take note of that…"_

China sighed as he silently slid onto the edge of the small bed. The smaller Japanese nation looked so much at peace while he quietly slept, curled up slightly on his side beneath the blankets. A peace that none of them had very much of lately…

He wondered what his brother was dreaming of.

Anything would be better than the nightmare that they were trapped in.

China shook his head and reached down to gently stroke Japan's cheek fondly. His fingers lightly trailed over the other's face and vanished in his soft, smooth raven hair.

His brother was so beautiful, he mused to himself.

He mapped every corner of Japan's peaceful face, etching it slowly into his memory.

_Memory…_He shuddered as that fragment of memory replayed once again in his mind.

_Japan flying at him, pushing him out of the way from the stray attack that no one had seen…Japan coughing up blood when his suit was already soaked crimson…Japan's eyes sliding shut slowly even as he tried to smile up at him…_

_No!_ China silenced the choked cry that threatened to escape him and hastily got up from the bed, his hands curling into fists as he tried to stop the onslaught of tears. _No! _He would never let that happen again!

Turning back to his sleeping brother, he knelt down by the side of the bed and softly pressed a light kiss to his brother's forehead.

"I love you," He whispered, fingers threading through the soft raven locks. "But I won't ever tell you this ever again until we come out safe and sound…"

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><p>"<em>I never want to see you die before my eyes ever again."<em>

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><p><strong>America – To the one I will save<strong>

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><p>"England…please, tell me this is a joke…This has to be a joke right! How could you play a joke during a time like this!" America pulled at England's arms, pleading desperately with the other. England's viridian eyes were hazy and he continued to stare off unseeingly into the distance even as he grasped America's hands.<p>

"America! Take a hold of yourself!" He snapped but his eyes continued to stare straight through the anxious American.

America shook his head and wrenched his arms from England's grip. "No! How can I stay calm now! England, you're _blind. Blind! _You know what that means don't you-"

"America! That is quite enough!"

America pulled back, stunned by the sudden loud outburst. England was right.

"I…alright…" He mumbled and hastily rushed out of the room, his head bowed. He could hear the others in the room asking if they should go after him, only to be stopped by England who curtly claimed that the American was just throwing a fit.

He nearly barreled straight into the wall. America punched his fists against the unrelenting wall and collapsed onto his knees, unable to hide the tears anymore.

_England! Don't you know what this means! It means that…that…_

He had never told anyone else about this. He didn't even understand it himself. They weren't supposed to have their memories right? So why…

Why did that accursed memory of England…_his _England collapsing into a pool of blood, his eyes as unseeing as they were now, keep on looping in his head like a curse?

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><p><em>He was the hero right? So why, this time, last time…why couldn't he save anybody at all?<em>

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><p><strong>Germany – To the one that smiles for us<strong>

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><p>It was unlike Germany to feel useless.<p>

The German had always considered himself as always having a solution for every problem.

But this problem was too great to him, too great for all of them. The only one who had an answer…was Italy.

_Italy._

The brown-haired idiot, useless, pasta-loving, white-flag-waving, shrieking, timid weakling…

Who had proven to be the strongest out of all of them.

He couldn't imagine what it must feel like for the Italian, to go through so many time loops and to watch them all die before his eyes, helpless to do anything.

Even so, he still smiled on for them.

Germany's grip tightened on the cup in his hands so much that it cracked.

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><p><em>Italy…What can I do for you?<em>

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><p><strong><em>-fin-<em>**


End file.
